It’s no surprise that smart phones have changed the way we live, but what you may not realize is that your phone may change your relationship with your spouse. A new survey shows that three quarters of adults bring their phone to bed with them – and more than a third of Americans say their sex life has suffered because of it.
This survey also revealed that people who regularly bring their phone to bed are twice as likely to use their device rather than engage in romantic activity with their mate during the hour before they fall asleep. In fact, a quarter of those surveyed said the last thing they see before closing their eyes at night isn’t their spouse – but their phone.
(source: “No More Pillow Talk: Phones in Bed Taking a Toll on Relationships, Sex Lives,” by Ben Renner)
Wow! It’s something we may not often think about – but it could have a big impact on our relationship if we don’t make some changes.
There was some positive news from the survey: One-third of those surveyed said they’ve at least discussed and acknowledged the need to get off their phones more often while in bed.
So, let’s take back that time and be more intentional about how we spend it! If your sex life has become a bit boring (and your phone has been a distraction) there are some appropriate things you can do to make your intimate time together a little more exciting.
Here’s the great thing: God created sex! He could have created cross-pollination so that we send spores through the air to each other. He didn’t do that. He designed sex for procreation, but he also made it great fun! So how do you perk it up?
First, think spontaneity. Do something creative and different in order to bring romance and spark to your physical relationship. Women: Set the mood. Buy fun lingerie. Initiate (you won’t believe what that alone will do for your man!) Men: Realize that sex begins the moment you wake up in the morning. That goodbye kiss to your wife, that call during the day, that time you spent playing with the kids, that thoughtfulness to fill her car with gas—all those things will cause your wife to respond to you sexually. (You don’t believe us? Try it!)
Second, on the flip side, think intentionality. Be purposeful. Some couples will literally perk up their sex life by scheduling it. That may seem kind of counter-intuitive, but when it’s on your mental calendar, that busy day and those normal activities get spiced up simply by the anticipation of sex that evening. This creates fun and the anticipation alone will spice up your sex life.
You need to stay within appropriate boundaries as you spice things up. Don’t bring in pornographic videos or magazines thinking they will help. They won’t. Instead, be creative in other ways. Your sex life can be as terrific as you want it to be!
*For more revealing insights about what your spouse’s most intimate sex needs are - and how to meet them - check out The 5 Sex Needs of Men and Women in our online bookstore!